Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A Day in the Life of Me....(aka my sorry excuse for not blogging)

I have sure been MIA lately. Every now and then I check my blog and think, "Geez, I am so sick of seeing her wicked weekend, when is she going to change it up, already?!?!" and then I remember that it is me and try hard not to cry. So.....I have a few blog ideas that I am actually kind of excited about, (and you might be too! :)) so hang in there with me. Unfortunately for some of you, you are going to have to sit through another update blog before I can get to the real fun, but it is coming...Maybe even as soon as tomorrow! (There is, after all, no school tomorrow!)


And now for my sorry excuse.


I present to you......A Day in the Life of ME. Starring me, of course.


I'll set the stage: Ben is in Las Vegas til Wednesday when he will then be in Kansas City until late Friday Night. I am enjoying a blissful 4 hours of sleep because of a lovely chat with my dear friend Gina, whom I haven't seen in years.


4 :30 am Jeff wakes up screaming. He can't find his dang binkie. So, I find it for him and lay him back down till he starts screaming again at...

4:48 am Once again, the binkie is lost, it is actually right by his cheek, but he was too sleepy to help himself. I have already pushed snooze, so I guess it is officially time to wake up. I get ready for spinning at the gym, taking my time in case Jeff is going to wake up again. He doesn't, so at...

5:16 am, I leave for the gym and enjoy a sweaty, stinky hour of one of my favorite things in the world.

6:30 am I come home and make sure Jess is up and at 'em. She isn't, so I get her out of bed and go out and sit on the couch for "just a minute" and I proceed to fall asleep until it is just time to take her to her 0 hour Jazz Band. At...

6:55 am, I wake up all the kids and we take Jessica to school. We come home and finish up the homework that didn't get finished with FHE last night. As I am sitting at the table listening to reading and questions about input and output boxes, I doze off, so this homework session lasts A LOT longer than it should have. I race up the stairs at...

7:50 am with strict instructions for the kids to put homework folders in backpacks and to get dressed while I go take a quick shower. At...

8:10 am I finish my quick shower. Yes, I know that 20 minutes is not a quick shower, that is one of my faults. I recycle, I can make a tank of gas last a whole month, my one environmental splurge is my "quick" showers. Oh, and my six kids. Just think of how big my carbon footprint must be. HA! At...

8:12 am I am dressed and have my hair wrapped in a towel. I race downstairs to make lunches and breakfast and get kids out the door. I do this in record time and with a surprisingly little amount of yelling, until...

8:28 am when I am yelling at Reese. "Where are your glasses? Go get them NOW! We have to go!!!" He comes back downstairs and it is then that I realize that he is wearing the EXACT same outfit he was wearing yesterday. (I set clothes out for him) "Go upstairs and change your shirt!! HURRY!!!" As we walk out the door, I realize that I still have my hair wrapped in a towel, and since I am also in sweats, decide that one humiliating mother factor is enough for one day and take the towel off. We get to school at...

8:30 am and that was that. Now on to chores. I was a laundry slacker yesterday, so I had a whole weekend plus a day to catch up on. That would be 8 loads of laundry. Yuck. Beds made, dishes done, laundry everywhere. YUCK. We finish up the twins homework, eat lunch, and get them off to school at...

11:15 am. Since I noticed that I was completely out of diapers and had to resort to my emergency glove compartment diaper, Jeff and I were off to Costco for a few essentials. At...

12:00, I go to drop Jeff off at my friends house so she can babysit while I go help at school and while I am waiting for her to get back from dropping off her Kindergartener, I notice all my gray hairs shining in the sun. It was not lovely. I am pretty sure I am due for a color.

12:15ish, I get to the school to read with 1st graders. Lots of fun.

1:00 pm, I am off to 3rd grade to do SRA (reading comprehension) with Anna and her class.

1:30pm, time to go help with the last of Native American day in Kindergarten, and at...

2:30 pm I pick up Jeff. I go home with really good intentions of changing out of my sweats, but run out of time as I was busy swapping laundry, changing diaper, putting away groceries, and hiding some Christmas presents before the snoops....er....kids get home from school. So, alas, at...

3:10 pm (Well, that would have been ideal, as this is the time school gets out, but I'm not going to lie...I was late.)

REVISED 3:17 pm I am still in my sweatpants picking up my kids and heading over to the Junior High for Jessica's Basketball game. They lost, Jessica didn't play much today (which I am SURE is the reason they lost). Her knee is hurting her and is swollen. We had the doctor look at it, but she was sure it was just that she is growing. Does swelling and horrendous pain usually accompany growing? I don't know. I'm not very tall.

4:30 pm we are done and heading home. Thank goodness for freezer meals, because it was nearly done by the time we got home! At...

5:15 pm I start requesting that the table be set as dinner is just about on. No one listens, so I ask again. And again. And again. Nothing. SOOOOO....in the world of mean mothers, this is what we call a natural consequence.
I have had to do this once before and it worked wonders. It has been several months since I have had to resort to this. No plates, no utensils, and if I was crazy enough to want to do some serious floor mopping, no cups. Oh wait. There are still no cups. They just have to be thirsty.
As you may imagine, there was a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth, mostly from Reese. He was NOT going to eat food that was just "plopped right onto the table. I PROMISE!!!" Right Reese, he would eat gum off the street if I didn't stop him, I am sure. So there I sit (and doze) until...
6:15 pm when everyone has finally finished their dinner and I can clean the table and start dishes and do more laundry before...

7:00 pm when we have to be at Achievement Day/Young Womens/Karate.

8:00 pm we gather the kids and head home for a night of no-school-tomorrow fun. Oh shoot. Reese and Anna are beating eachother up in the car, so...

8:45 pm.... it is off to bed for them. I swap laundry one more time, only seven loads have been washed today. One more tomorrow, plus what we used today and I will be done. We start Mary Poppins for the little girls and Jessica puts the trash cans out....


And here I am.


THIS, my friends, is where I have been. This is why I have such a tremendous amount of gray hair. This is why I often wonder if I will make it through another day.


But then, I go in and check on my sleeping little angels, and remember that it is all worth it. I will go to bed soon and fall asleep hard and fast and wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.

And I will love it.
Mostly.

I may even put on some real pants.

18 comments:

Alicia said...

I love you, Emily! You truly amaze me. I hope that having Gracie this afternoon didn't add too much stress to the day. :S

You're such a great mom!

P.S. I LOVE that you made them eat off the table--I'm gonna remember that for later on!

Alicia said...

(I didn't transition very well between the Gracie comment and the "great mom" comment. Sorry for the awkwardness.)

Emily Kern said...

It was absolutely no trouble to watch Gracie this afternoon. It was actually quite helpful at the game to have her there keeping 3 of the kids busy! I love having her here and will take her ANYTIME!!!

Danielle said...

Wow, you are awesome. But one question, How in the world can you manage to have a tank of gas last you the month??? HAHA. LOVE it that you made them eat on the table. GENIUS idea for them not setting the table. I need some parenting ideas from you, seriously!

Audra said...

ok WOW! i will definalty never jokingly tell you that your blog needs to be updated. you are definatly superwoman. you are a trooper.

p.s. i love that you made them eat off the table.

The Yancey Family said...

I am laughing/crying right now! (Must be PMS time). I can perfectly picture every step of your day, and you seriously, honestly amaze me! I really really love the no plates thing, I am always looking for new ideas to punish my kids with! I wish we were neighbors so we could tag-team. This post makes me miss you so much!

The Yancey Family said...

P.S. I was looking through my blog roll today, and I was thinking that most of my blogger friends, including myself, are in kind of a blog-slump right now. I just can't seem to get to it either, and my life isn't half as crazy as yours, so don't feel bad!

libbie said...

A lovely post indeed! I can remember eating off the table a few times growing up . . . i think I turned out pretty okay too, even after such a severe punishment!

you are a trooper! I really wish you lived closer, because it just doesn't seem like you have enough to do, so i would kindly drop all my kids off for you to watch.....only kidding! I love you!

Jackson Family said...

Emily I love you! You totally rock! I feel like we must be living alternate lives. While, i don't have kiddo's of my own, yet, I have had my brother over for 4 days while my dad is in the hospital. Life is crazy! You are truly my inspiration!!! If Emily can do it I can do it!

Also love the food on the table! It's wonderful psychology, cause if you had set they table they would learn they didn't have to listen. I love it.

When my dad was a child and they ate to quickly, not proper table manners, his parents would put the plates on the floor and insisted that if they ate like dogs at the table then they would eat where the dogs did. On their hands and knees just using their face. LOL

Amberly said...

I was enjoying your post and then when I read about the natural consequences at dinner time I laughed so hard I got a tear in my eye. You are a funny, funny girl. I am looking forward to your upcoming posts.

Laurie said...

There really is a reason we're counseled to have our families when we're young. I could never at this point in my life make it through your day!! Altho I certainly had my share of them when my kids were little!! Love the idea about no plates--

kthom said...

Oh how I've giggled out loud over this one. Anna's expression is priceless. Those potatoes look divine, especially with a delicious side salad. I just want to know.....did they finally eat everything? And the ice cream for dessert....how did that go over? Good thing soup wasn't on the menu, that would have been a very quick meal! SOOOO excited to see you:)

Emily Kern said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Emily Kern said...

Kari, it was even better than potatoes. It was a delicious meal of Lamb meatballs over Orzo pasta so it was especially tricky to pick up all those tiny little noodles. I did mention it being a lucky thing that there was no soup for dinner, and yes they finally did eat everything. I think they are finally learning that I am not a kidder and that I mean business. I can't wait to see you either!!!!

Jennie @ Porch Swing Quilts said...

Loved this post - it was worth the wait! Great idea. I might try this. although my business is only my excuse fornot having a stellar house.

Laurel @ Ducks in a Row said...

Unfortunately, I loved this post so much that I might want to expect more! You are funny and I LOVE your parenting style.

Tony and Traci said...

I love your Natural consequences. I'm sure every mother has had those days.

Rob and Jen said...

O my word! I can SOOOO relate to this post! You don't mind if I copy & paste it onto my blog, do you? =)
Emily, I've only met you once, but I will forever consider you a dear friend. You're so real, and so much fun!!! I completely understand why you're Ali's hero!
Thanks for taking care of my little sis--and I will owe you forever for taking time out of your busy life to come and make our week in Frisco! You're the GREATEST!!!