Kern kids:
I have sure been MIA lately. Every now and then I check my blog and think, "Geez, I am so sick of seeing her wicked weekend, when is she going to change it up, already?!?!" and then I remember that it is me and try hard not to cry. So.....I have a few blog ideas that I am actually kind of excited about, (and you might be too! :)) so hang in there with me. Unfortunately for some of you, you are going to have to sit through another update blog before I can get to the real fun, but it is coming...Maybe even as soon as tomorrow! (There is, after all, no school tomorrow!)
And now for my sorry excuse.
I present to you......A Day in the Life of ME. Starring me, of course.
I'll set the stage: Ben is in Las Vegas til Wednesday when he will then be in Kansas City until late Friday Night. I am enjoying a blissful 4 hours of sleep because of a lovely chat with my dear friend Gina, whom I haven't seen in years.
4 :30 am Jeff wakes up screaming. He can't find his dang binkie. So, I find it for him and lay him back down till he starts screaming again at...
4:48 am Once again, the binkie is lost, it is actually right by his cheek, but he was too sleepy to help himself. I have already pushed snooze, so I guess it is officially time to wake up. I get ready for spinning at the gym, taking my time in case Jeff is going to wake up again. He doesn't, so at...
5:16 am, I leave for the gym and enjoy a sweaty, stinky hour of one of my favorite things in the world.
6:30 am I come home and make sure Jess is up and at 'em. She isn't, so I get her out of bed and go out and sit on the couch for "just a minute" and I proceed to fall asleep until it is just time to take her to her 0 hour Jazz Band. At...
6:55 am, I wake up all the kids and we take Jessica to school. We come home and finish up the homework that didn't get finished with FHE last night. As I am sitting at the table listening to reading and questions about input and output boxes, I doze off, so this homework session lasts A LOT longer than it should have. I race up the stairs at...
7:50 am with strict instructions for the kids to put homework folders in backpacks and to get dressed while I go take a quick shower. At...
8:10 am I finish my quick shower. Yes, I know that 20 minutes is not a quick shower, that is one of my faults. I recycle, I can make a tank of gas last a whole month, my one environmental splurge is my "quick" showers. Oh, and my six kids. Just think of how big my carbon footprint must be. HA! At...
8:12 am I am dressed and have my hair wrapped in a towel. I race downstairs to make lunches and breakfast and get kids out the door. I do this in record time and with a surprisingly little amount of yelling, until...
8:28 am when I am yelling at Reese. "Where are your glasses? Go get them NOW! We have to go!!!" He comes back downstairs and it is then that I realize that he is wearing the EXACT same outfit he was wearing yesterday. (I set clothes out for him) "Go upstairs and change your shirt!! HURRY!!!" As we walk out the door, I realize that I still have my hair wrapped in a towel, and since I am also in sweats, decide that one humiliating mother factor is enough for one day and take the towel off. We get to school at...
8:30 am and that was that. Now on to chores. I was a laundry slacker yesterday, so I had a whole weekend plus a day to catch up on. That would be 8 loads of laundry. Yuck. Beds made, dishes done, laundry everywhere. YUCK. We finish up the twins homework, eat lunch, and get them off to school at...
11:15 am. Since I noticed that I was completely out of diapers and had to resort to my emergency glove compartment diaper, Jeff and I were off to Costco for a few essentials. At...
12:00, I go to drop Jeff off at my friends house so she can babysit while I go help at school and while I am waiting for her to get back from dropping off her Kindergartener, I notice all my gray hairs shining in the sun. It was not lovely. I am pretty sure I am due for a color.
12:15ish, I get to the school to read with 1st graders. Lots of fun.
1:00 pm, I am off to 3rd grade to do SRA (reading comprehension) with Anna and her class.
1:30pm, time to go help with the last of Native American day in Kindergarten, and at...
2:30 pm I pick up Jeff. I go home with really good intentions of changing out of my sweats, but run out of time as I was busy swapping laundry, changing diaper, putting away groceries, and hiding some Christmas presents before the snoops....er....kids get home from school. So, alas, at...
3:10 pm (Well, that would have been ideal, as this is the time school gets out, but I'm not going to lie...I was late.)
REVISED 3:17 pm I am still in my sweatpants picking up my kids and heading over to the Junior High for Jessica's Basketball game. They lost, Jessica didn't play much today (which I am SURE is the reason they lost). Her knee is hurting her and is swollen. We had the doctor look at it, but she was sure it was just that she is growing. Does swelling and horrendous pain usually accompany growing? I don't know. I'm not very tall.
4:30 pm we are done and heading home. Thank goodness for freezer meals, because it was nearly done by the time we got home! At...
5:15 pm I start requesting that the table be set as dinner is just about on. No one listens, so I ask again. And again. And again. Nothing. SOOOOO....in the world of mean mothers, this is what we call a natural consequence. 
I have had to do this once before and it worked wonders. It has been several months since I have had to resort to this. No plates, no utensils, and if I was crazy enough to want to do some serious floor mopping, no cups. Oh wait. There are still no cups. They just have to be thirsty.
As you may imagine, there was a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth, mostly from Reese. He was NOT going to eat food that was just "plopped right onto the table. I PROMISE!!!" Right Reese, he would eat gum off the street if I didn't stop him, I am sure. So there I sit (and doze) until...
6:15 pm when everyone has finally finished their dinner and I can clean the table and start dishes and do more laundry before...
7:00 pm when we have to be at Achievement Day/Young Womens/Karate.
8:00 pm we gather the kids and head home for a night of no-school-tomorrow fun. Oh shoot. Reese and Anna are beating eachother up in the car, so...
8:45 pm.... it is off to bed for them. I swap laundry one more time, only seven loads have been washed today. One more tomorrow, plus what we used today and I will be done. We start Mary Poppins for the little girls and Jessica puts the trash cans out....
And here I am.
THIS, my friends, is where I have been. This is why I have such a tremendous amount of gray hair. This is why I often wonder if I will make it through another day.
But then, I go in and check on my sleeping little angels, and remember that it is all worth it. I will go to bed soon and fall asleep hard and fast and wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.
And I will love it.
Mostly.
I may even put on some real pants.
